A belated RIP to Michael and my childhood...

My mom called me in tears at work Tuesday, after watching Michael Jackson's memorial. my hubby was recording it for me, so I didn't know anything about what I was going to see, hear, or experience. She told me it was beautiful and very sad, and I told her I wasn't sure if I should watch it then, because I have been very stressed out and emotional lately. So much so, that I really hadn't accepted that MJ was truly gone. I didn't know if the memorial would send me into a downward spiral or help me start the grieving process. She said I should definately watch it, but only when I thought I was ready.
I got home from work and was talking to hubby about it. He'd been watching it all day, along with the commentary about things Michael had done that were so amazingly good, that hubby had no idea about. He wanted to know why no one ever reported on any of the good stuff and why MJ didnt' have a publicist or something to make it all known and to get credit for it. I told him that people (for the most part) pay more attention to dirt and negative things, so the media reports it and makes more money. I also told him that MJ didn't want credit for his good deeds, he did them because he was an extraordinary, kind, and gentle soul. My husband had a whole new perspective of MJ, and believe me, that was amazing in itself, because he was a hard-core skeptic when it came to MJ and his relationships with children. I'd tried and tried over the years to make him understand my feelings from DEEP in my heart that MJ didn't do those terrible things to those kids, but it was too far-out for him to get. And I understand that most people didn't get it, either. But I did. Don't ask me how, but I understood MJ completely. It hurts so bad to think of the pain he endured, all the while trying so hard to help people. We didn't deserve him.
He was such a huge part of my (and millions of others') childhood. My sister and my cousin were giant fans, my sister had a red jacket from the "Beat It" video, and she and my cousin would put on shows for us. It was hilarious. I've been a fan since I was 4 years old, listening to 8-track tapes of the Jackson 5 and the Carpenters in my parents' car. My mom told me once, that after listening to "I'll Be There" with her in the car, I sighed, turned to her and said, "I love him and am going to marry him when I grow up." Isn't that funny?
It seems every stage in my life had Michael in it somehow. There will be an emptiness now. I will miss him terribly and am so thankful I was alive during his time on Earth. He was an inspiration as an entertainer, and as a truly good person.